Candle & Cigarette

When dealing with everyday critical choices, you don't have the privillage to pause and think about it for 30 minutes unlike in video games. That's where human instict will kick-off and prompt us to make the choices that either make or break someone else emotions. Well that happen to me yesterday but this time the impact is much greater than anything I've encountered.

My stupidity has not only cost my sweetheart's money but her precious time too. Eventho she keep saying 'things happen and there's nothing we can do about it', I can sense the frustration & anger from her voice & action. Some men having a tough time to notice this but I'm lucky to have the ability to see right trough her. Why? It's because the way she got angry just exacly like me.

I will shut up for a long period of time, make a neutral face expression, my action become much rougher ..to name a few. Ohhh yes, she very pissed off at me and that why I just shut up and didn't bring out any jokes at all because I,myself if in angry state, hate unneccessary noise at that particular time.

I've tried to become a candle for her, burning itself to light others but instead I become a cigaratte, burning itself to trouble others and I deeply regret about my action yesterday. By hook or by crook I'll make it up back to her. You can pay back money but you can't pay back the time that has been wasted. =(



P/s: I'm so sorry dear for all the trouble that I had caused T.T
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Luck

I'm glad that I have her at my side all this time

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Hello world!
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Martyrdom

This concept has been used countless time...even in relationship. It's such an epic love story when 1 person sacrifice themselves to save their love one. Why they do that?..simple, because they want them to be happy. What they didnt know is, most of time...it only bring pain & suffering more to their loved one. If that happen, it no longer can be consider a Martyrdom , it was called Selfishness.

Selfish is a normal human behavior. Regardless of the situation, they will try to be selfish. It's a good thing if you notice your act of selfishness...but it be worst if they didnt even notice it at all. take this as an example:

Two lovely couples that has been in relationship then suddenly the girl found out from the guy diary at his working table. In one of the old entry, the guy used to love someone very deeply a couples of years ago. it's so deep that the guy cannot say the magic word to her at all until the end.

The diary entry is too damn epic that she felt that her guy better off with that girl as he deserved more. Than the girl ask the most unbelievable question to the unfortunate guy, "Im willing to let you go if that will make you happy with her".

Ok, let's us pause the damn story for awhile. the girl assume her guy will be happy with other girl's care. The girl want her guy to be happy even without her. At first glance, it really looks like a noble priestess ready to make sacrifice to save the whole damn world. Epic isnt it?   but let us put some twist in the storyline:

What if the guy is actually more happier with her?
What if the guy no longer have any feeling toward the previous girl?
What if the guy no longer care the previous girl?
What if the previous girl is actually  much worse in comparison?

Im pretty damn sure the guy only have 2 options:
1) to follow his girl advise which will in fact make him wandering endlessly into oblivion; or
2) to be a stonehead and stick with her until the end of time.

if he choose option (1), he is in fact(based on the assumption stated above) wont chase the prev girl..but instead he will do something els that the girl wont expect. i mean, who want to chase it's own past? there's no guarantee that girl will accept him or who know, maybe she's already married?. if this is the path that the guy take...congratulation girl, you just converted the meaning of  Martyrdom to Selfish since you not only destroy your life & happiness but also the life & happiness of others too.

if he choose the (2) option, consider yourself a the luckiest girl on the planet. Plain & Simple, no?

and the story end there....i'll leave the fate of the couple to your own imagination. but 1 thing for sure, THIS IS NOT A FRIGGIN VIDEOGAME WHERE YOU CAN QUICKSAVE & QUICKLOAD IF YOU'RE SCREWED UP BY MAKING THE WRONG CHOICE.


of course, all this can be avoided if the girl just ask the guy about it in the first place. or else why do you think the guy leave his diary around especially on his work desk? surely the guy want the girl to read his sad & messy history so she can understand him more then anyone else....right?.

anyways, to end this post(since i need to get back to work)..the essence  of good relationship is to Talk About It, not to Assume It

Tadaima

it's been 1 years since i posted my last entry. not because im too lazy to post any, but i just lack of ideas on what to post. it's funny, last time while im at the uni, i can post practically anything that come across me at that time. but now it seem  i've lost my touch.

nevermind, will try to update this page as often as i can. all i can say now is it's been 6 months since i got my new job and....no interesting things happen. well there is ONE thing..but i prefer to keep it a secret. LOL

Valkyrie of the Battlefield

That's the original title for Valkyria Chronicles for japan release. Well..it's not entirely bad in the first place. As for today will be marked as the day i finally FINISHED playing VC on my PS3...after bought it in January this year. Hahaha...Turn based Tactical RPG it not a game you can finished in 2 days(well..it depend). I prefer to play it slow & steady as the story itself is the true gem.

I keep saying over & over again that this game manage to pull off every single human emotion from the time you start the game until you see the ending. Not all game manage to do that and not all manage to executed it perfectly. Compare to any other game that used war as a foundation for the storyline, nearly all of the character in this game dont have "GRRR...I WANT TO GO TO WAR & KILL PEOPLE" kinda attitude/motive which pleases me to a great degree.

Some of the main attraction for this fine game are:

1) Water coloured art direction
The game is rendered using SEGA all new CANVAS engine which make it look like a water coloured painting on a canvas which is beautiful.

Yerp..you also get the "RATTA RATTA" word FOC

2) The Storyline
Set in the center of Second Europan War, a tiny country try to fend off the attack by bigger nation and Squad7 is the star in here. Instead of showing Atlantic Federation as a good guy, this game show that there's no 'good' guys in war..all there is a greedy & selfish people who trying to take advantage of others problem. Well..it's the same with the real world we live in anyways.

3) The Emotion
Every moment in this game is full of emotions. Sadness, happiness, envious, hatred, determination, love, unsure and others will accompany from start to finish. Some of the moment will make you shred your tears(or even cried). I wont spoiled this part as it's a part of the main storyline.


4) The Lovely Selvaria Bles

Aside from he big..urm...melon, she really a great character in VC. Eventho inside the game we didnt see much of her, an expansion pack dedicated to her Mission really worth the money tho i must say Empire unit is lame & weak. From he profile, it seem she enjoyed cooking. No scene in game showing about this but in the Anime (yup...VC also got anime) durign the ending credit, i can see clearly chibi Selvaria is cooking something.


Ah yes...the official poster of the anime. A bit different from the games sequence, i hope the anime touch some part of the war that not inside the games.

Just a random pic.. i didnt know Edy is quite famous among VC fans

Colour of Happiness

I really love this song..it keep my head up whenever i feel down as the lyric itself always reminded me of something that i always held precious in my heart. The translation credit goes to the orginal author as i cant even read Katakana & Kanji yet. hell..even Hiragana i still have some trouble to read. Talked about Beginner 1 student of Japanese language LOL

Taken from http://hobbit-hunter.livejournal.com/271412.html

Aa! Megami-sama - Shiawase no Iro
Aa! Megami-sama: Sorezore no Tsubasa - Shiawase no Iro (Color of Happiness)
Opening Song translation - Ishida Yoko
Shiawase no Iro (Single)
Translated by me

この広い世界の中
出会うべき人たちが
窓の向こう　虹の向こうに見える
気づいてるはず　
Kono hiroi sekai no naka
Deaubeki hitotachi ga
Mado no mukou, niji no mukou ni mieru
Kizuiteru hazu
In this vast world
There are people you should meet
They are seen beyond the window and beyond the rainbow
You should recognize them.


見上げた空は今でも
あの時と同じ色で
雲はカタチを変え
今日もあなたを見守っている
Miageta sora wa imademo
Ano toki to onaji iro de
Looking up at the sky
Kumo wa KATACHI wo kae
Kyou mo anata wo mimamotteiru
Even now, looking up at the sky
It's still the same color as before
The clouds change their shape
Today, as well, I watch over you


きゅうくつなおもりを脱いで
気持ちをゆるして さあ　耳をすまし
その瞬間（とき）を待って
今　目覚めなさい
Kyuukutsu na omori wo nui de
Kimochi wo yurushite, saa mimi wo sumashi
Sono toki wo matte
Ima mezamenasai
Take off that restraining weight
Those feelings are forgiven, now listen carefully
Wait for the moment (moment)
Now, wake up!


大空に描いた　小さな夢をいつも感じて
通り過ぎる人波に 疲れてしまったときも
うつむいたり　投げ出したりしないで
羽根を休めて
Oozora ni egaita chiisa na yume wo itsumo kanjite
Tooisugiri hitonami ni tsukarete shimatta toki mo
Utsumuitari, nage dashitari shinaide
Hane wo yasumete
Always admire those small dreams that you paint in the sky
When you grow tired passing through the crowd
You look down, don't fall
Rest your wings


信じる気持ちの強さが
あれば聞こえるでしょう
まっすぐあなたを想い　歌うわたしの声が
Shinjiru kimochi no tsuyosaga
Areba kikoeru deshou
Maasugu anata wo omoi utau watashi no koe ga
Believe in your strength of your feelings
You will certainly hear them
Direct your feelings to my voice


静かに色づく街
朝の光..
そして今日という一日が
ページをめくるの
Shizuka ni iro zuku machi
Asa no hikari...
Soshite kyou to yuu ichinichi ga
Peeji wo mekuru no
This town turns red and yellow calmly
In the morning's light...
And today is just one day
I turn the page


大空に包まれ　今日も歌うわ　心をこめて
終わらないこの道　
行くため　窓を開けて　歩き出す
そうすれば　もっと虹に近づける
きっと...
Oozora ni tsutsumare kyou mo utau wa kokoro wo komete
Owaranai kono michi
Yuku tame mado wo akete aruki dasu
Sousureba motto niji ni chikazukeru
Kitto...
Wrap yourself in the sky and put today and your song in your heart
This city will never end
Go and open the window and begin to walk
If you do this, then you'll surely find more rainbows
Surely...


大空に描いた　小さな夢を大切にしよう
そうすればいつも幸せになれる
きっと ...
Chiisana yume wo taisetsu ni shiyou
Sousureba itsumo shiawase ni nareru
Kitto...
Always value the small dream that you paint in the sky
If you do this, then you'll surely be happy
Surely...

Translation Notes: This is one of my favorite Japanese/Anime songs ever. Aa! Megami-sama: Sorezore no Tsubasa transaltes to Ah! My Goddess: Everyone Has Wings. Many lines (ex. Maasugu anata wo omoi utau watashi no koe ga) were tricky to place into English, but I think it worked out.

All credits goes to this person: http://hobbit-hunter.livejournal.com/271412.html



There' alot of shitty thing happen in our life everyday..but that doesnt mean we SHOULD get depressed over it. There's still alot of other thing that can make you happy or better, make people around you happy. All we need i to find it using our own way. Thinking too much on depressed thing wont make you a better person, but thinking about happy thing will will definitely make you a great person....well, at least that what i thought of when listing to this song.